


the problems we left unsolved

by mutemelody



Series: these ghosts we carry [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Child Neglect, Gen, Jinchuriki Racism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-17 18:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17565626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutemelody/pseuds/mutemelody
Summary: She watches them get put together, on Team Seven no less, and wishes to any and all gods out there that they don’t end up like her team.~~Something was very, very wrong. Something -someone- was manipulating, twisting, weaving a web of deception and control.She does not understand how or why until she finds herself directly in his chamber and sees the sharingan swirl in his eye and a man with an orange mask.  She recognizes him as the man who destroyed the makeshift family she left behind.She recognizes, and sherages.[Or: A continuation of my Ghost!Rin AU, observing the changes made in the series by the presence of someone who is willing and able to do what others cannot. Her power over the land of the living may be limited, but her determination and stubbornness are not.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional warnings:  
> -Themes of self-depreciation (not deep, but repeated and prevalent. Rin is only a ghost so she can't stop the events of canon, and it breaks her heart).  
> -Themes of depression and talks of trauma (Rin watches Kakashi, and sees how different he is than the boy she once knew).  
> -References to mental health issues (Rin understands that there are wounds beyond what we can see)

****Naruto is as mischievous as Kushina and as quick-thinking as Minato and it is a deadly combination of ingenuity and noise.

Rin watches amusedly as the young boy, clad in colors as loud as his shouts and not even out of the _Academy,_ manages to evade a handful of chūnin and jōnin. Some of them are twice his age, some of them even more than that, and he’s showing them all up.

She thinks of Minato’s dramatic jutsus and Kushina’s volume and brashness and honestly does not know where the stealth came from.

 _Well, perhaps stealth is too strong of a word to use._ She thinks as she runs beside Naruto, watching the boy cackle loudly, holding a bucket of paint as yellow as his hair, _sensei’s hair._ The paint splashes in its container, getting flecks on Naruto’s pants. It would be getting all over her, due to her proximity to the young boy, but instead, the brightness does not touch her.

He flashes her a wide grin, and she cannot help but return it. Perhaps she should be more responsible, act as more as a role model and tell him he shouldn’t do such a thing as to _graffiti Hokage Mountain,_ but...

“You’re really going to get it this time!” One of the chūnin chasing after Naruto yells, rage and frustration and _hatred_ in his voice.

But she is petty, she has decided. These people are people who cannot tell the difference between a demon and a child. These people make up a village that has hurt Naruto unforgivably and tried to rip his childhood away from him.

Why can she not help him reclaim it in a way that gives the very people who scorned him a headache?

(Besides, she has already tried to talk Naruto out of his pranks, and no matter what she does, it does not work.

She has found, however, that his smiles become a lot brighter when she supports him. Rin is no parent, no older sibling, and her physical form has not aged with her. Years have passed and now he appears the same age as her, and he gets enough grief from everyone else in the village.

All she can do is support him and teach him and advise him and give him enough happy memories in the hopes that Konohagakure does not completely destroy the legacy of the Yellow Flash and Red Hot Habeñero.)

Naruto activates a shunshin, just the way she taught him, and she feels pride and victory at the startled looks on the faces of the two chūnin left behind in leaves. You can follow a shunshin rather easily once you learn how - hence why Minato went so far in his research on the Hiraishin - but they had not been watching carefully, too caught up in their anger that they missed that crucial moment that betrayed the direction the user went.

Naruto is eventually caught, of course. It’s by Umino Iruka - a sensei at the Academy, and if Rin thinks hard she can dimly remember Umino Kohari, the boy’s mother.

Rin had spent quite a few days lingering by the Yamanaka's flower shop, enthralled by the clan’s mind jutsus. She had pestered Inoichi incessantly, wanting to learn more about the mind. As a medic she would learn to treat the body, but why did her training stop there? What about wounds that went beyond physical?

Umino Kohari was there sometimes. She always got daisies and showed Rin how to tie a flower into her hair and how it would make boys underestimate her.

Iruka lectures Naruto, but he is much, much kinder than anyone else who has. There is no underlying hatred, just the exasperation expected of any sensei speaking to a troublesome student.

She likes Iruka.

She lets herself get pulled away that night as she stands across the street from Ichiraku’s, smiling at the sight of a boy eating far too fast, and a sensei attempting to understand his student a bit better.

She lands in a world of mist and darkness and is reminded bluntly of the behavior of a boy who was previously so kind-hearted.

She does not know how Yagura became so corrupt, so _violent._ She never foresaw Kirigakure’s transition to Blood Mist. She has spoken to the Sanbi firsthand; the bijū is not this bloodthirsty, this cruel. He was temperamental, of course, but not _evil._ He was not the incarnate of hatred that people tended to paint them as.

He was not _this._

Something was very, very wrong. Something - _someone_ \- was manipulating, twisting, weaving a web of deception and control.

Yagura was a loud boy who likes sweets and crocodiles and the color green. Now he’s a quiet man who has little likes and a plethora of dislikes, all punishable by a messy death.

She does not understand how or why until she finds herself directly in his chamber and sees the sharingan swirl in his eye and a man with an orange mask giving him orders to be everything he’s not.

The mask is different, but she still _knows._ She recognizes him as the man who destroyed the makeshift family she left behind, who released the Kyūbi, who _killed sensei and Kushina._

She recognizes, and she _rages._

(She is so angry that she does not even hear his voice properly.)

He leaves soon after she enters, disappearing into the air, warping reality to give the illusion of the exact ghostly state that Rin wants to leave behind. He leaves her there with Yagura, whose face is horribly emotionless and begins to move with a purpose that is not his own.

She sees him, thinks of the little boy she first saw, and refuses.

“Yagura,” She says, and although he turns, he looks through her, his eyes burning that horrible crimson color that has always marked her life with tragedy and death.

Obito’s death, Kakashi’s suffering, the Kyūbi-

But now is not the time for mourning, or grief, or hatred. Her voice is very, very gentle when she says his name, and she forces herself to stay calm as she follows Yagura quietly throughout the day and watches him make decisions that he would never make and say things that he would never say.

She talks to him the whole day. He either does not hear her or does not reply.

She watches him fall asleep that night and slips into his dreams with the practice of roughly a decade. She walks in his mind and brings back the boy who used to be there, breaking _that man’s_ hold with the same ferocity that she wants to snap his neck with.

Yagura wakes with a gasp, forcing them both out of the dreamscape so fast Rin half-expects to get whiplash. He’s breathing heavy and clutching his sheets tightly, but his eyes are no longer emotionless and even though he’s obviously scared and shaken, it’s _him._

He sees her quickly, and his eyes are wide in horror. “What did I do?” He asks, and his voice cracks.

She can tell by the haunted look in his eyes that he isn’t really asking her. He _knows_. “Nothing. It wasn’t you,” She tells him gently, softly, pushing down her anger. “You were being controlled.”

“I’m the _Mizukage,”_ He reminds her, his voice small, _weak_ . It reminds her of her own voice, so helpless and lost when she had to tell sensei why Kakashi’s eyes were not identical, why Obito would never be late again. “I’m supposed to _protect_ my village and…and I’ve failed.”

“You can still fix things.” She reminds him firmly. “The man with the mask has not won yet. Not if we don’t let him.”

Her father had always told her that she was stubborn, _determined._ Even if it’s tinged with grief, she can still recall him tiredly ruffling her hair with affection after she had gotten him to cave and allow her to be a kunoichi.

(Her father had had to bury her, but she had seen his own funeral from afar. Just another victim of the Kyūbi attack. Just another life stolen by a man who didn’t even show his face.)

“We have to keep going,” She says, looking out the night sky. The stars glitter, twinkling and shining for a purpose unknown to them, but a purpose all the same. She thinks of the world beyond that, a world where most of her family lies. Her mother, her father. Kushina and sensei. Obito. All those she never got to meet and all those she failed to save.

But, no matter how much she longs to see them, she is here because someone has to clean up all the problems the living created and the dead left unsolved.

She looks at Yagura, and there is no more softness on her face. Despite appearances, neither of them are children. They haven’t been in a long time. “We are shinobi. Above all else, we endure.” She reminds him, her voice strong. Steady.

He nods, but his eyes are on the sky beyond her, and she can’t help but wonder if he is thinking of his own ghosts.

* * *

 

She returns to Naruto that night, and she immediately knows that something is wrong.

He’s not asleep, for one. For all his seemingly endless energy, he is still not the type to linger for too long after a reasonable hour.

He looks strangely pensive as well. Despite the headband in his hands, proof that he passed his exam this year, he is not vibrating in excitement the way she would have thought he would be. Instead, he’s sitting on his bed, still dressed, staring at the headband in his hands like he can’t quite believe it exists. His eyes betray how deep his thoughts go as he absentmindedly runs a thumb over the cool metal.

She looks at it curiously and realizes that it is old already. Worn and scratched and scarred.

Another thing that is not right.

“Congratulations, otouto.” She says in lieu of greeting, and he jerks out of his thinking in surprise. He looks at her, and although he is happy there’s something deeper underneath.

“Hi, nee-chan!” He smiles, and it reaches his eyes. He’s not faking the joy as he holds up his headband. He couldn’t be - this has been on his mind for _years._ “I did it!”

She smiles back because he has both sensei and Kushina’s warmth so of _course_ it’s infectious. “I never doubted you,” She tells him, and it’s honest.

He smiles at her a bit longer, before letting his hand fall back to his lap. He looks back at the headband, and the smile fades. Her own does as well, and she moves over to sit next to him. It’s odd - she can sit, but she cannot really _feel_ the bed or any of the comfort it provides. That is lost to her.

“What happened?” She asks, and he takes a deep breath before he tells her.

He tells her how the test was bunshin, and he failed because he just _can’t_ do them. Whether he tries one or a hundred, there’s always been too much chakra for a form that is not physical. He tells her about watching all the other kids passed and just being so _desperate_ that when Mizuki told him there was another way he took it without question. He details how he stole the scroll (Where were the guards? Where was ANBU? She knows Naruto is precocious in specific ways, but such a scroll should be much more guarded if a child can get it) and went to the woods and read it as best he could.

He tells her of shadow clones, but he also tells her of other things there that he did not quite like. He whispers to her about jutsus that violate the laws of nature and jutsus that do not care for who they hurt in the collateral.

(“I just wanted to make clones,” He told her, “I swear I didn’t look at any of that other stuff. I just wanted to make _clones.”_

“It’s okay, Naruto,” She assures him. “I believe you.”)

He tells her how Iruka showed up first, then Mizuki. He talks of betrayal and shuriken flying through the night and of someone in the village finally acknowledging him.

“He hated me because of the Kyūbi,” Naruto admits, his voice quiet and his eyes not quite meeting her’s. “They _all_ hate me because of the Kyūbi. But…” A conflicted look comes over his face before he looks up at her determinedly. “I don’t think it was the Kyūbi’s fault.”

She stares at him in surprise. She has told him of his parents, of course. She told him stories of a woman from a near-dead clan that was loud and loving and unafraid of what anyone else thought. She had talked to him for hours about a man with eyes as blue as the sky and a mind sharper than any kunai and a warm aura that always made you feel safe.

She told him of Kushina and Minato. She told him of his mother and father.

She did not tell him of the previous jinchūriki of the Kyūbi or the Yondaime Hokage. He was young, so young, and she wanted to spare him that for now. She told him that they died as heroes, that they died for _him._ She had told him and he had cried and cried and she had sat there desperately wishing she was slightly more alive so she could offer more comfort than just words.

So how, the question was, did he know that there was more than everyone knew? Did the Kyūbi hint at something? Had she let something slip unwillingly?

Was he smarter than even she gave him credit for?

“It wasn’t,” She tells him carefully, and surprise shone on his face. She blew out a breath, before deciding that if he was a genin, then he had to be old enough.

How much longer could she wait, really? He had a right to know his parents. He had a right to mourn them properly, for who they really were. He had a right to know what exact legacy he represented.

“Your mother was the previous jinchūriki of the Kyūbi,” She says, and her voice cracks slightly at the memory of that night. Naruto moves closer to her, both out of interest and out of the desire to comfort something he cannot touch.

“Really?” He asks, wonder in his voice.

She nods, “It was...it was during your birth. The seals were weakened, but her and your father took precautions. It would have been fine.” Her voice gets quiet, she knows. Her eyes only see dark red chakra permeating the air and Kushina assuring the boy in front of her, only a baby, that everything will be fine when the opposite is true.

She can remember the woman, so strong, so kind, so _motherly -_ she had been the closest thing to a mother Rin would ever have - crying to Rin in the world beyond. She can recall sitting on the ground with her, feeling her tears, and watching as she despaired about her son’s future.

“A man attacked,” She told him, only half aware. “He had a strange mask and a hood and he ruined everything. He released the Kyūbi and then just disappeared.”

She made herself blink harshly, before directing her attention back on Naruto, who was looking at her concernedly. He was listening intently, though, not even fidgeting. His eyes were so blue, his hair so yellow, and she can’t help but remember how sensei looked the first time she met him.

“Your father was the Yondaime Hokage,” She tells him, the secret that had been carefully guarded by a select few easily slipping from her lips, and Naruto’s eyes widen.

“What?” He exclaims, and she nods, a fond smile breaking through her grief. “The...the _Yondaime?!”_

“Namikaze Minato,” She nods, “He was known as the Yellow Flash of Konoha. He could take down a platoon singlehandedly.” The smiles slips and falls. “You were just a baby, you couldn’t take the full Kyūbi inside you. Your mom didn’t want to seal it inside you at all, but it was the only solution. So, your father, he,” He voice catches again, but she continues. She owes it to Naruto to continue. “He split the Kyūbi and half, and sealed half in you.”

“What…” He seems to start to ask, but something flickers in his eyes and he changes tracks quickly. “Why…” He falters again before he narrows his eyes at nothing.

“Do you think they’d be proud of me?” He asks, and the question is so beyond what she’s expecting and his voice is full of an insecurity that she has never heard from him before.

“I think,” She says, smiling at the new genin as she thinks of the best two shinobi she ever had the privilege of knowing. “That they already are.”

* * *

Rin remembers the day that Naruto met Sasuke with enough clarity.

Naruto had been walking down a path and Sasuke had been standing by the water.

Naruto had stopped to stare, and Sasuke had stood stoically as he looked over the glittering lake.

Naruto had stayed in the sunlight, fidgeting insecurely, and Sasuke had stared at the cold, dark water without emotion on his face.

(Sasuke was serious, too serious for a boy his age, but Rin remembers a clan gone overnight in a storm of blood and betrayal and cannot blame the only victim left behind for his trauma. Especially when no one seemed to view him as anything more than a tool or a weapon afterward, rather than a child that needed love and protection and some damned mental health treatment.)

Rin had watched Naruto eye Sasuke consideringly, as if wondering if an attempt at befriending the boy would end in success or rejection. Rin had watched Sasuke eye the water, conflicted as if trying to choose whether he should drown in sorrow or be consumed by the fires of revenge.

Rin had watched, and made a decision.

“He looks like he could use someone, doesn’t he?” She had commented quietly. Naruto has a good heart, better than her’s when she had a beating one, and she knows he would end up befriending the boy even if she wasn’t here.

Still, this had seemed to be the less complex solution than let him wait to realize what he has always known - that everyone needs someone, and the bonds that tie shinobi are unbreakable.

A determination had gone over Naruto’s blue eyes, the same way it would get when sensei was in battle, or trying to make a new jutsu, or trying to figure out where to take Kushina on his next date.

He had nodded once to her before running over to the lost boy.

She had not heard his conversation, but she had seen them talk and argue and Naruto get pushed into the lake.

She had smiled amusedly, already knowing that a friendship was destined between them.

* * *

Sakura is interesting.

Rin has seen her from afar, a few times. She has hair startlingly pink and light green eyes and her laugh streams across the open area cheerily. She is best friends with Inoichi’s daughter and they hang out constantly together until something happens to put them at odds. She likes books and is very smart academically but still has much to learn in application.

Naruto likes her. He never confesses a crush to Rin, but he never has to. She can tell.

The girl thinks she has a crush on Sasuke, she knows. She is young and infatuated with the closed-off boy who has skills beyond his age because she cannot yet understand the complexity of him, so she mistakes it for a crush.

Maybe it will turn into that, maybe it won’t, but for now, Rin knows it’s not.

She can read Sakura easily, because if Sasuke is Kakashi and Naruto is Obito then Sakura is Rin.

She watches them get put together, on Team Seven no less, and wishes to any and all gods out there that they don’t end up like her team. At least the animosity between Sasuke and Naruto is lighter than Obito and Kakashi’s had been, tempered by time and actually a façade to hide a friendship that both covet but neither will admit.

They’re all childish, of course. Naruto’s loud and Sasuke’s stubborn and Sakura’s prideful, but it’s okay. They’re green genin, and with the right joūnin-sensei, they’ll all grow out of that to become wonderful shinobi.

She is pulled away before they meet said sensei, but it’s okay. Unlike the other times, there’s no slight pang of guilt that she’s abandoning Naruto, that the majority of the time she’s away he will have to spend alone, weathering the glares and hateful stares of the rest of the village.

Now he has a team, and even though they’re new and just learning how to really _be_ one, it’s still something.

She arrives in a house in the desert, looking at a boy incredibly young staring out a window at the raging sandstorm outside.

“Hello there,” She says softly, gently. The boy turns and looks up at her, the childish wonder in his eyes dulled slightly by loneliness, and she recognizes the Ichibi inside of him and curses Suna for being no better than any other village.

The boy - so young, younger than Naruto, younger than any other jinchūriki she’s met thus far - hesitates for a moment. “Hello?” He repeats uncertainly, as if not quite sure that he is the one being addressed despite there being no one else in the room.

“Hi!” She smiles and waves.

His eyes widen exponentially. “Hello!” He says once more, but with a notable increase in enthusiasm. “I’m Gaara. Who are you?” He asks cheeringly, and she can see relief in his eyes and swallows down disgust at the prejudice she has been seeing far too much of.

“Nice to meet you Gaara-kun.” She says warmly. “I’m a friend.”

She has not told any of the jinchūriki of her name. There is no reason to. She is nothing more than a ghost of Nohara Rin - a part of the kunoichi that refuses to move on. Giving them a name meant that there was a life, and although she had been born and lived and fought and loved and lost, she had also died, and the only name she could give them would be one already inscribed on a gravestone.

‘Friend’ was a much nicer introduction than something that should no longer have any place in the world of the living.

“Really?” He asks, and the absolute surprise in his voice makes her want to make Suna leaderless. He bites his lip, suddenly much more anxious. He looks down. “I’ve never had a friend before.”

“That’s okay.” She hopes he’s too young to detect the sadness that twists her voice. “everyone has to start somewhere, right?”

Gaara’s smile is brighter than the desert sun could ever be.

* * *

 

“Nee-chan, nee-chan!” Naruto chants, bouncing up from his bed to greet her when she enters his bedroom. “I met my sensei today!”

“That’s great, otouto,” She smiles, “Who is it?”

“Kakashi-sensei!”

Oh.

That was...unforeseen.

“Nee-chan?”

She’s reeling, but she pulls herself together to smile. “That’s great, otouto.” She repeats, and she knows she’s not convincing.

Naruto looks over her, concern shining in his eyes. “What’s wrong, nee-chan?” He asks bluntly, and she smiles sadly at him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” She assures him, before taking a deep breath to collect herself. “I just...Kakashi was my genin teammate. He was also a student of your father’s.”

“Really?” He asks, clearly interested, and she nods, trying to pick through her memories to find the happiest ones to give to the boy.

He doesn’t need to know of her tragedy yet, doesn’t need to know of a team with so much potential that was cut off at the head. Doesn’t need to know of the loudmouthed boy that he reminded her so dearly of, a boy who died because she was too weak and he was too stubborn. Doesn’t need to know of how she cursed his new sensei with darkness and depression and trauma.

“He was a prodigy,” She tells him instead. “He was much younger than me and...our other teammate, but was still the best one on the team.”

She doesn’t talk about how instead of feeling impressed by Kakashi like she used to be, she now understands sensei’s quiet anger. Not towards Kakashi, no, but towards Hiruzen and the Council and whoever thought it wise to let him advance so fast at a young age.

He had been skilled enough, of course, but it had also broken him in the process. Alienated and ripped away at him and only worsened the trauma he already had.

 _“What about the injuries to the mind your jutsu doesn’t cause?”_ She had asked Inoichi. _“How would we treat those?”_

He had just shrugged. _“I don’t know. No one talks about those.”_

She had thought it stupid then, and that thought has only increased as she watches the years go by.

“But he was more than that,” She says, “He likes dogs and reading and the color green. He’s a skilled shinobi, but he’s also a person, but sometimes people would forget that.”

“I hate it when they do that,” Naruto scowls, “It’s stupid.”

She hums in agreement, before deciding that that is enough of that conversation for the night. “It’s also late, otouto, and you have your first training session bright and early tomorrow.”

“Yeah! I’m gonna totally rock it tomorrow!” He cheers and turns to dive back into his bed before suddenly pausing.

When he looks back to her, he’s much more serious and almost slightly bashful. “Nee-chan?” He asks quietly, conflicted and unsure.

“Yes, Naruto?"

“You know, how, uh,” He fumbles over his words slightly, before blurting out, “Can I dream of my parents again?”

She’s been able to send Naruto dreams of his parents at random intervals. They’re not perfect, of course - usually fuzzy and just bits of memory that she’s been able to sneak into his mind when he’s asleep, but...it’s still good. It still gives him faces and personalities and memories that he would not have otherwise.

“Of course, otouto.” She smiles, and he gives her a wide grin back before throwing himself onto the bed.

It takes him quite some time to fall asleep - he’s a ball of energy from the day and doubtlessly filled with excitement at the possibility of seeing more of his mother and father - but he does eventually.

Rin takes a moment to look at him after he succumbs to slumber. He’s utterly peaceful, with his mouth wide open and arms holding the pillow tightly.

She closes her eyes for a moment, hopes that she won’t break down completely when she sees Kakashi, before entering the land between life and death.

Naruto had requested it, after all, and what kind of big sister would she be if she disappointed her little brother?

* * *

Kakashi is...different, to put it simply.

She, of course, expected change. She would be foolish to think he would be exactly as she remembered him to be all those years ago.

But his seriousness is gone, lost in an air of indifference and carelessness. He has a book too old to be shown to children stuck to one hand and is chronically late to every appointment.

He is mourning, taking in parts of Obito’s personality and making them his own as he carries a ghost that has already moved on.

He is tired, exhaustion showing in the only part of his face that is still visible. She’s seen that face before, seen behind all of his masks. She’s seen it happy and sad and content and angry and knows exactly how tired Kakashi is.

(She wonders if she’s the only one in the land of the living that can say that, and fears the answer.)

(She wonders how much of that is her fault.)

She watches him carefully in the bell test, watches how he acts like it’s a simple test that he’s forced to do because of protocol and hides how much tradition and memories those two small bells hold. She watches how he acts like it’s a simple test of teamwork and hides how much he truly values those bonds, obsessing over them in a way.

She was not there when Kakashi and Obito came to a crucial understanding, when they made full peace with each other and accepted each other.

But she’s heard the words, whispered to an emotionless stone, shouted at other shinobi, repeated like a prayer.

 _“_ _In the Ninja World, those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.”_

She had loved Kakashi when she was alive. Not in a romantic way, no, her own childish infatuation had worn away after Obito was taken from them.

She had thought she had all the time in the world, hadn’t realized how suddenly one of her boys could be taken from her. She had thought she had time to be interested in Kakashi as she sorted out her feelings for Obito.

But then Obito had died, died loving her and her never acknowledging any of his feelings beyond simple friendship, and she instantly recoiled from any thoughts of dating or relationships.

She still loves Kakashi, but it’s covered in grief and regret and blood. She had made him kill her, had forced him to cut right through her right to her heart. The worst part is that she can only vaguely remember it when she knows the boy - _man_ \- in front of her cannot forget it.

She shouldn’t have been captured. She shouldn’t have had to be saved like some green genin. She shouldn’t have been unable to think of a better solution.

She shouldn’t have made Kakashi kill her. It was stupid and selfish and scarring _._

There had been four of them, happy and content and strong. They had been a team - a _family._

Then three.

Then two.

Then one.

She’s crying, she realizes faintly, as she watches Kakashi pass the newest Team Seven. There are tears in her eyes that fall and disappear before they hit the ground.

He is mourning, she knows. He is mourning for her and Obito and sensei and Kushina. He is mourning for their team - their _family -_ that is all dead and lost to him.

She is also mourning, she knows. But her’s is different.

She’s mourning for the dead like Kakashi, but she’s also mourning for the living.

They are the ones that have to carry the ghosts they leave behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same warnings as the previous chapter.
> 
> Keep a lookout for a one-shot either before or after the next chapter. I'm not quite sure exactly when I'll post it, but it will be with this series. It will be more focused on the time between the previous installment and this one, with a specific focus on Kirigakure. I personally have no idea how the timeline there really goes in canon, so the one-shot will be to explain how it goes in this AU.

**** It’s bittersweet, watching the new Team Seven complete their missions.

They’re similar to her old team, but still completely different. 

Sakura does not wish to become a medic-nin like her, but instead focuses primarily on being a perfect kunoichi by doing things exactly by the book. She’s not rule-obsessive like Kakashi’s early days, back when their team was full and the cost of war hadn’t been known to them yet, but she’s definitely more strict than the typical genin.

Naruto wishes to become Hokage like the loudmouthed boy that Rin foolishly hadn’t given a chance. He’s brash and loud, and even has that same desperate drive that Obito had stemming from a sense of just wanting to  _ belong.  _ It’s crucially different, though - Obito had wanted to belong amongst his family by unlocking a power, and Naruto wants to belong in the village by hiding his.

Sasuke and Kakashi both come from bloodstained pasts, but they implement themselves in it differently. Kakashi’s goal had been to never become it, while Sasuke’s role is to destroy it completely. Sasuke’s not alone, though - not as much of a loner as the silver-haired boy had been. He acts like it, but she knows how often he stays in Naruto’s apartment, how often he flees to the boy with the hair like the sun to get away from the ghosts haunting him.

She cannot chase away his nightmares like she can with Naruto’s, or Yagura’s, or any of the other jinchūriki she watches over. She does not have that crucial connection to him that she clawed up from death itself to grasp. 

But just because she cannot help his sleep, does not mean he is completely at the mercy of his trauma.

Rin cannot help him sleep, but Naruto does.

There’s no obvious sign of it, but she can tell. Can see how the dark circles under his eyes shrink after spending time with the boy, can see past his complaints on how Naruto’s couch kills his back and how he still comes back frequently.

She does not comment, but she knows.

* * *

 

The D-ranks are typical for newly minted genin such as themselves. Kakashi throws them into it, giving them mission after mission and watching them carefully the entire time while maintaining the illusion of complete laziness. 

She watches as many as she can, but her time is divided amongst all the jinchūriki without factoring all the times she ends up drawn to Yagura as the masked man returns to place the Mizukage under his control. 

However, despite all of his power, Rin knows how to break his hold and Yagura is now acutely aware of what is happening, and together, the man in the mask’s grip on Yagura barely lasts a minute.

“I may be freed, but the Kirigakure is still suffering for my actions under his command,” Yagura confides in her one night, after the sun has fallen over the horizon and the moon and stars are left with the task to light the world. “I… I don’t think there’s anything I can do to fix it.” He finishes, faltering slightly, and Rin understands what he’s planning.

“You’re thinking about giving up the hat,” She says knowingly. She’s noticed his increased watch over his higher-ranking shinobi, specifically those that were most disobedient when he was not in control. Those that knew injustice when they saw it and were unafraid to stand against it.

Specifically, that kunoichi with two kekkai genkai running through her veins that was unafraid to give Yagura a tongue-lashing despite him being her Mizukage.

“Terumī Mei is more than skilled enough to handle the position as Mizukage, and, more importantly, she cannot be controlled like I can.” Yagura points out as he sits on his bed, rubbing his face tiredly. She knows he has not been sleeping well - too much fear and paranoia that the masked man will appear when he’s at his most vulnerable.

Rin looks him over carefully, “You love being Mizukage, Yagura.” She says, because while she knows all of his reasons for passing on the title, she also has to make sure he is aware of everything that he is doing.

“I do,” He agrees, nodding immediately, but there is a resolved look in his eyes. “I love protecting and serving my village, but this is not the best place to do that. As long as I am Mizukage, Kirigakure will always be at risk.”

He looks so tired, so  _ worn,  _ and for far from the first time, Rin clenches her hands into fists and wishes she was corporeal enough to make the man with the orange mask  _ pay  _ for all the hurt he has wrought to those she has cared so deeply for. What was he planning? What was his motivation for such cruelty, such  _ bloodshed? _

“Get any madder and you’ll become an onryō, Kasumi-san,” Yagura’s voice draws her back, and she looks up at him with a tinge of annoyance.

“That is not my name,” She reminds him, a slight scowl on her face. She does not want a name, she doesn’t  _ need  _ one. Names are for the living and the dead, and she is neither. Yagura disagrees, however, and calls her Kasumi - ‘mist’.

_ “You are both here and not,”  _ He had said one day.  _ “And just like the mist, you protect my village.” _

“And besides, at least then I would be able to  _ do  _ something.” She finishes, her frustration clear in her voice. It isn’t a lie; as an onryō she’d be able to protect the things she loves, rather than continue to watch everything get destroyed.

Yagura looks at her, slight surprise in his eyes. “I do not know what you have done for my fellow jinchūriki, but you have done so much for me.” He tells her, an odd tone to his voice, the same tone sensei would sometimes get around Obito when he didn’t realize he was also invited on their team bonding activities. The  _ this is something I expected you to know, but you don’t, and it hurts me to think of why that is. _

She finds that she does not like that voice directed at her.

“I can only protect your mind, Yagura.” She reminds him. “I cannot protect your body, or even your village.”

“My mind is all I need to do both myself.” 

She wants to reply, to correct him, to convince him to see how little she can truly do without chakra or a physical body, but she’s being pulled away, off somewhere far, far west.

She sighs, “This conversation is not over.” She tells him, and he gives her an amused smile.

“Of course, Kasumi-san.” He says, “Farewell.”

Like every time she leaves, she pretends not to notice the faint flicker of fear in his eyes. He is worried, she knows, that she will not be there next time the masked man comes, that he will be forced to ruin the village he cares for deeply.

She does not say anything, because she knows he would deny it. Despite everything, Yagura is still a kage, still  _ proud.  _ He’s not arrogant by any means, but he is also not going to admit that he is fearful of a single shinobi.

All she can do is wait and be there for him when the time comes.

* * *

 

She lands past Fire Country, and she guesses it’s Earth by the harsh, rocky landscape.

Her suspicions are confirmed when she looks and sees a familiar large, armor-clad figure walk up to a man with fire red hair. Both are baring Iwa’s symbols. 

She holds no specific resentment to Iwagakure for the war, for Obito’s death. At least, not anymore. There was definitely a time between Obito’s death and her own where she probably would have given into that cycle of anger and death that the entire shinobi system perpetuates. Now, though, she’s less...raw. More clear-minded.

(She can see the dead are not the one that need the pity, that need  _ revenge.) _

Han clasps hands with Rōshi, greeting the man in a voice too quiet to span the distance between them and herself. She makes her way over slowly, eyes observing on the area around them. Meeting with Yagura always made her a little more guarded, a little more anxious,  _ paranoid.  _

Even if the masked man has not been seen in Iwa or threatened the village’s jinchūriki (as far as she knows), that does not ease her fears that today might be the day that changes. She cannot afford to let her guard down and allow more people she cares for to be hurt.

Han and Rōshi had been surprised to first meet her, to put it simply. They had both been jinchūriki long before Rin came into the picture, and were skeptical of her appearance at first. Rōshi had thought her a tracker from Iwa, and warned her repeatedly to stop following him as he traveled throughout Earth Country before he realized he could not touch her. That she was not really completely there.

_ “What are you? This isn’t genjutsu.” _

_ “I’m not here to hurt you. I am - or rather, was - a fellow jinchūriki.” _

Han had been similarly difficult, the man thinking her a mere figment of his imagination or a sign he was going insane due to his self-imposed isolation. She can’t blame him for his hatred of humanity, not really. She knows how deeply the hatred runs for those who hold bijū inside them runs, knows how much those words can hurt and how cruel people can turn.

But now, things were better. Iwagakure was still no better than the other villages, but since their jinchūriki were ‘allowed’ more freedom (or rather, were too powerful to be confined within the village itself) Rin saw an opportunity.

Maybe she couldn’t get Han to really talk to other people once more, or Rōshi to let go of his hatred - or maybe she was too angry to really try and convince them - but she was able to give them both  _ someone. _

Han and Rōshi became good friends. Not quickly, not smoothly, but  _ eventually,  _ and it eases some of her worries to know that they have each other’s backs.

“Hey!” She calls, forcing herself to let go of some of her worries. The two men turn to face her, and she smiles and waves before walking forwards.

Rōshi smiles back, and while Han doesn’t, she can tell he’s pleased to see her as well. “Hello,” Rōshi greets her, before looking her over and perhaps she isn’t hiding her anxiety as well as she thinks she is because the next thing he says is, “Is everything alright?”

She sighs and glances around the valley they are in once more. She hesitates to tell them, but she  _ knows  _ it’s for the best. This is a danger, one that might come and rear its head to threaten them, and to keep them in the dark would not be fair or logical.

“There is a man.” She starts off carefully, letting the fake happiness slide off her face and allow her genuine concern to slip on. They both look at her, serious, and she knows she has their attention. “He has an orange mask and has recently demonstrated he is able to control a jinchūriki through their bijū.”

“He can control a bijū?” Rōshi asks, startled. She can see surprise in Han’s form as well, and watches his hard eyes give the area around them a quick once-over.

She nods, before sighing, “No one knows this, because everyone who knew were killed, but... _ he  _ was the one who released the Kyūbi on Konoha all those years ago. I don’t know his purpose or what he’s after but just...be  _ careful.  _ I was able to break his control, but he-” She cuts herself off by gesturing in frustration. “I don’t  _ know  _ who he is or why he can do what he can do, but he has a sharingan which  _ should not  _ be possible and he can seemingly disappear into midair.”

“Does that mean he’s an Uchiha?” Han asks.

No, the Uchiha are all dead besides Itachi and Sasuke, who are both too young to be the masked man. Sasuke hasn’t even awakened his clan’s dōjutsu yet.

For some reason her mind keeps travelling back to Obito, to his half-crushed body, to the way his face felt in her hands as she forced back her tears to follow through on Obito’s last wishes, to let him see the world through Kakashi’s eyes, through his  _ own  _ eye in  _ Kakashi’s skull  _ and-

The Uchiha are all dead.

She feels sick.

“Or he took them off an Uchiha’s corpse,” She finds herself saying, thinking about how many Uchiha there were before the massacre, thinking about how there could have easily have been a missing Uchiha that she didn’t know of due to her limited perspective after her death.

The eye Obito had given Kakashi was through a willing procedure, and she can recall how the clan had  _ not  _ been pleased of it. Had the masked man found an Uchiha, and ripped the eyes from his head without consent, without remorse, without  _ mercy? _

She clenches her fists at the thought, and her opinion of the man, which she previously thought could sink no further, lowers.

She forces herself out of those thoughts - those are for later, when she’s alone and has time to think. “Either way, you must be careful. Look out for each other, okay?” They split up sometimes, she knows, alternating between travelling together and travelling alone. And although she knows it would probably be wise in normal circumstances to keep them apart in order to make the masked man have to hunt them both down individually, the thought doesn’t sit well with her. Sensei had instilled a very deep sense of teamwork in her, and the thought of dividing up forces when they could be together just does not seem logical to her.

“Will do,” Rōshi smiles and thumps Han hard on the back. She doubts that the taller man could even feel it. “You wouldn’t believe the trouble that this guy can get into when I’m not around.”

Han rolls his eyes, “The last time we stayed in an inn together, you got us both kicked out, and then  _ afterwards  _ you managed to set the place on fire. From miles away. By accident.”

Rōshi splutters, “That was  _ not  _ my fault!”

Rin smiles - a real one this time, stemming from amusement and affection. She’s been a ghost in this world for quite some time now, almost the same amount of time she spent alive. She’s spent all those years watching over the jinchūriki she is connected to, caring for them and giving them everything the living doesn’t and the dead can’t. She can name them all, knows all their fears and hopes, everything they hate and everything they love.

Her determination fills her once more, strengthened by her love for her newfound friends,  _ family. _

She would not let the masked man rip  _ this  _ one away from her. She may not be able to do much, but that doesn’t  _ matter.  _ She doesn’t care.

He will not ruin this family, like he did with the remnants of her previous.

* * *

 

Team Seven’s first C-Rank is an interesting one, to put it simply.

She could tell something was off from the beginning. She knew Kakashi could as well, and her heart aches because she’s  _ heard  _ whispers of how mysterious and guarded Kakashi is, but he’s  _ not.  _ Not really. Not to people who really  _ know him. _

Rin’s known him since before she could read, but she has still always been able to read him. 

The problem is that he has not allowed anyone else in after his own Team Seven, not allowed anyone to come close to his heart or see under his masks - the physical and metaphorical.

Guilt pangs through her, but she forces it away because there’s a puddle but the ground isn’t wet and neither are the trees. There’s a puddle but it  _ hasn’t rained  _ and that’s a detail you can’t overlook, much less when on a mission that already feels wrong.

“Be careful, Naruto,” She whispers, looking around, and she turns just in time to see shinobi rising out of the fake puddle. Missing-nin from Kiri, both having one wicked claw and a chain that links the two together.

Before she can call out, they have already sprung into action. Two large chains wrap around Kakashi and even though it looks like they have him captured, that they are about to kill him and nothing can stop him, she looks into Kakashi’s visible eye and knows that he has already escaped.

The chains rip through the body, and even though she knows it is not Kakashi, her heart still skips and beat and grief and  _ rage  _ rips though her. It takes everything in her not to let out a strangled roar.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura screams, horror clear on her face. Her hands are shaking. 

Sasuke’s eyes are wide but he does not call out or yell. She can still see shock on his face.

“It’s a fake!” Rin calls to Naruto, who seems frozen, and he snaps out of his daze to look at her in shocked relief as the nin come up behind him. Their postures are threatening and their weapons are out and for a moment she imagines bringing Naruto to the afterlife like she had to do with Kushina.

“Naruto,  _ move!”  _ She cries, because even though Kakashi had an escape, Naruto is still a  _ genin,  _ and these are  _ missing-nin.  _ She hasn’t been this acutely aware of her powerlessness in a long, long time.

Naruto rolls out of the way, although clumsy and tinted with shock, and he pulls out several shuriken and throws them at the chain spinning through the air, reading to tear through the inexperienced genin.

Two bounce off, but one hits its mark in the chink of the chain and continues moving to embed itself in the tree. Not even a moment later, Sasuke is in the air, throwing a kunai with impressive accuracy to land in the center of the shuriken, and go several inches deep into the tree trunk. The two missing-nin stop short, their deadly weapon now a hindrance. 

She glances over her shoulder. Sakura’s standing in front of Tazuna with a kunai drawn, but fear and shock are showing in her entire form. She can’t blame the girl; she just thought Kakashi was brutally mowed down in front of her. Rin knows she wouldn’t have been any better.

The missing-nin disengage the chain connecting their claws with a  _ clink,  _ and split apart. One heads for Naruto and Sasuke, while one heads for Tazuna and Sakura. Sakura moves in front of Tazuna, looking like she’s forcing herself to move into a defensive stance even though she knows she doesn’t stand a chance.

There’s a flicker of chakra nearby, faint.

_ It’s about time.  _ She thinks to herself, recognizing the signature.

Kakashi appears in between the two shinobi with a simple shunshin, an arm wrapped around both of their necks. “Yo,” He says to his students, as if they didn’t just seemingly watch him get ripped to pieces, all while maintaining his illusion of disinterest.

Her heart hurts. Filled with anger because  _ how dare he pull that stunt  _ and also guilt because  _ she made him into this.  _ Someone unafraid to test students harshly, because he knows how likely it is for one of them to die if he trains them with toy-kunai.

She takes a steadying breath, and tries to just focus on the bright smile on Naruto’s face as he’s praised by his sensei. Tries to focus on his happiness, because none can be found within herself at this point.

It works, for a while. Lessens the hurt and guilt she carries on her shoulders and in her heart.

Then it turns into anger, because they were  _ tricked. _

Tazuna had been playing them, purposely lowering the rank because he couldn’t afford to give it it’s proper difficulty ranking. He feeds them a sob story than Rin quite honestly sympathizes with to some degree, but also analyzes with the cool mind of a kunoichi. He’s not lying to them, but  _ still.  _ It’s Kakashi, her teammate. It’s Naruto, sensei and Kushina’s  _ son.  _ It’s Sakura and Sasuke, two genin who think they know and can do more than they can, and that’s been okay because until now it’s just been D-Ranks.

This? This was far beyond chasing a cat through the village you grew up in or walking some dogs for civilians.

But the genin convince Kakashi to continue forward, and Kakashi lets them. Rin worries. She’s seen Sasuke and Naruto train, and knows a bit about Sakura’s abilities at this point, but they’re still  _ genin,  _ and this mission is one that they should not have to take.

Still, she does not have a say. This is not her team, and Naruto is not really her brother. Kakashi cannot see her, and Sasuke and Sakura don’t even know she exists. There is little she can do to stop this now that the wheels are in motion.

She does stay, though. That is something she can do. She keeps herself close by Naruto, but does not let herself be visible to him. It’s been quite some time since she’s been hidden from the jinchūriki, and never purposefully, but she doesn’t want him to see her right now. Doesn’t want him to see the guilt she feels when she sees Kakashi, or how often she scans the area around them for unseen enemies.

That is when Zabuza appears.

He’s a missing-nin, ruthless and skilled. Rin can do little besides watch the genin desperately try to scrape together a plan, because the man catches  _ Kakashi  _ by surprise and imprisons him in a sphere of water. She can read Kakashi as well as ever, can see how he’s cursing himself, can see the worry in his eyes because, like her, he cannot bear to see another team torn apart in the worst way possible, and now that is a very, very real possibility.

A thought suddenly occurs to her, and she looks over the team indecisively before latching onto another jinchūriki’s signature and letting herself be dragged towards it.

After all, they aren’t too far from Water Country, right?

She just has to hope they’ll be able to make it through this battle.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is mutemelody.tumblr.com talk to me there


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